


It’s My Life

by Wolfcry22



Series: Shame [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester's Parent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Hurt Sam Winchester, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, John Winchester Bashing, Sad Sam Winchester, Stanford Era (Supernatural), Stanford Student Sam Winchester, Stanford University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:29:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26772205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfcry22/pseuds/Wolfcry22
Summary: Sam struggles to make the payments for his time at Stanford. Hopefully explaining his life may give him the time that he needs to sort everything out (Based on a scene from the TV show Shameless)
Series: Shame [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1883236
Comments: 1
Kudos: 46





	It’s My Life

**Author's Note:**

> I know that in the show Sam received a full ride to Stanford, but for the purpose of this story he still has a balance of other expenses just to fit with the story. I always wished that we knew more about Sam while he was at Stanford and I wanted to explore the idea that Sam may need to tell people a little about what his childhood was like within reason. He desperately wants to stay in school, just like Lip wanted to in Season 5 episode 8. I think those two are relatively similar in someways and I wanted to be able to show that parallel. I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Brief warning for mention of alcoholism but it is very minor

Sam pulled out his wallet with trembling hands and spread a couple crumpled bills on the table in front of him. It wasn’t nearly enough, that Sam was probably sure of. However, he was trying to appeal to the financial aid officer in front of him, silently praying that there was an ounce of sympathy in the man’s calloused eyes that would allow Sam the opportunity to pay the rest of his expenses in installments. He knew how unusual it was, but his life was nothing if not unusual.

“10, 20, 35, 100.” Sam pushed the pile of bills forward. “That should be $950.”

The financial aid officer glanced up with sympathy in his gaze. “Mr. Winchester, your bill is still over $5,000 for books and expenses that financial aid just doesn’t cover. You understand that, don’t you?”

Sam rocked on his chair, feeling his entire body tremble. He had never been one scared of eye contact, but at the moment he was finding it difficult to look anywhere near the man’s face. “Yeah, yeah, that’s why I’m going to keep up with the payments.” Sam glanced down at the nameplate perched on the end of the desk glaring up at him. “I’m good for it, Mr. Clearow.”

Mr. Clearow leaned forward with his hands folded in front of him. “This is very unusual, Mr. Winchester. We don’t take payments like this and certainly not in cash.”

Sam felt his heart rise into his throat. He needed to compose himself and fast. “Um, yeah, I get that. I-I appreciate all that you’ve done for me and everything. I appreciate it.” Sam trailed off, unsure of what else he could possibly say to make Mr. Clearow understand the dire need of his situation.

“Samuel—“

“It’s Sam.” Sam wrinkled his nose at the mention of his full name. He couldn’t remember the last time he had heard it. His father certainly didn’t say it and neither did Dean. He almost preferred the awful nickname of Sammy to his full first name.

Sam saw the confused look on Mr. Clearow’s face and decided to explain it a bit better. “I’m probably going to be in here a lot. It may be best if we get to know each other a little bit, you know.”

Mr. Clearow gave a small dip of his head. “Alright, Sam. Look, why don’t you wait until next semester and then you can get your financial aid information in and maybe have some more spending money.” He pushed the piles of cash back toward Sam. “Take a semester off. It’s not the end of the world.”

Sam’s eyes widened at Mr. Clearow’s words. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and coughed to clear his throat. “I-I can’t do that,” he stammered.

Mr. Clearow slightly tilted his head in confusion, hazel eyes shining in the light in his office. “And why not?”

“I wouldn’t make it back,” Sam answered definitely. There was no hesitation or confusion in his voice. His decision was clear and he was going to make sure Mr. Clearow knew that.

Mr. Clearow nodded slowly as though inviting Sam to explain what he meant. He heard a hundred sob stories a week about students in the same position. However, something about the way that Sam was holding himself told Mr. Clearow that he was different. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he hoped that Sam would be able to give him something that he could work with.

“Uh, my brother never graduated high school,” Sam confessed as he leaned back in his seat and ran his pointer finger along his jaw to scratch at it subconsciously. “And my Dad kinda forced him into the family business. I mean, Dean’s great at it and all, but I know that he could do so much more, you know? My Mom died when I was six months old in a house fire and it’s just been my brother and I with our Dad. My Dad is an alcoholic and was never really there since he was always......working. Dean raised me and looked after me my entire life. I know that he’s proud of me and he helped get me here, but that also means that I left him with our Dad. I know that if I go back to that then I won’t come back. At least here I can make something of myself and do something for them.” Sam let out a small, forced laugh. “That I can do. So, I’m going to do my part and I’m going to keep making these payments. I just hope that you can do your part and help me out here.”

Mr. Clearow kept a passive look on his face as he willed himself not to react to what Sam was saying.

Sam scuffed his shoes against the tile floor. “I’m just asking for some time, and some patience.”

Mr. Clearow rocked back in his chair and began to nod slowly. “One week is all that I can give you, Sam. You either find the money for your room and board or the school is going to have to take action.”

It wasn’t exactly what Sam had been hoping to hear, but one week was better than nothing. He should be able to scrounge up the money by then. Although he detested his family’s way of betting poker or hustling pool, Sam did have to admit it was rather effective. You couldn’t have Dean Winchester as your brother and not learn a thing or two. Sam may not be able to out hustle Dean, but he could sure as hell beat any preppy college student at the local bar that felt they were invincible. It wasn’t a habit that Sam was going take up or anything as long as he got the money that he needed to stay at Stanford until he could figure out what had happened with his scholarship and financial aid.

“Thank you.” Sam reached out his hand toward Mr. Clearow. Truth be told this financial officer had been more help than almost anyone else. Sam knew that most other people would’ve sent him packing as just another poor kid that didn’t deserve the scholarship he received. However, he could tell that Mr. Clearow was different and he was immensely grateful. 

Mr. Clearow reached out and shook Sam’s hand firmly, feeling the strong grip. The two met gazes for a moment until Sam pulled his hand back. He pushed the chair back and stood, casting one last glance at the pile of money he had laid in front of Mr. Clearow. It was difficult leaving nearly $1,000 of cash there, especially knowing that the money could’ve paid for motels for a while and maybe even a few meals here and there.

Sam quickly reminded himself again why he was doing this. He was doing this for Dean, for John, and for his mother, who would never be able to see what he made out of himself. 

But, most importantly, Sam was doing this for himself.

**Author's Note:**

> This was fairly short and certainly less intense than the other stories in this series. I thought that a break from the incredibly serious and dark themes of the rest of the series might not be a bad idea and alas this was born. I hope you guys enjoyed and are staying safe and healthy!


End file.
